Stories

Back in 2008 my sister, Alison was diagnosed with Lupus. She spent the next few years managing the condition with bouts of time in hospital. During a routine appointment in 2012 it was found that her kidneys were failing and working at only two per cent.

Overnight, Alison became very sick and on dialysis on eight hours every day. During this time the impact on her family with her two children, plus working with adults with learning difficulties meant she was not able to attend and took a lot of time off sick.

Alison was placed on the transplant list in January 2013, the whole family and friends were eager to donate. However, my other sisters and I were tested straight way and I was the strongest match. After lots of tests to make sure my kidney and I were physically and mentally ready to donate, it turned out that one of my kidneys had a tiny stone. Doctors decided to give this one to her, but the kidney would have its own surgeon who would remove the stone once it was removed from me before it went to Alison. Amazing!

The transplant team were fantastic. Explaining to Alison myself and what to expect and how we would react to the donation. While in hospital we would be in single rooms next to each other, and we wondered what our recovery would be like.

In July 2013 we went ahead with the donation at Oxford Churchills Hospital.   

The transplant was a success. While I was weak in hospital, and at home recovering, (plus enjoying being waited on), Alison was up and about, ready to get out of the house. And I received phone calls from my mum asking me to tell her to get back in bed, relax and rest!

Alison felt she had spent too long in bed and was ready to get back to her life as an active mum, sister, work colleague, tutor and just enjoy life. 

It was just a positive, life affirming experience that I have never regretted.

We grew up in Dulwich, South East London, in a loving, caring and nurturing West Indian family, with my older brother Richard, me and four younger siblings.

We always have a very close sibling relationship, and this was something our parents instilled and nurtured.  Don’t get me wrong, there was plenty of sibling rivalry when we were children, we fought like any other family, but I recall my parents always saying, “don’t fight with your brother or sister, they will become your best friends one day”. We never forgot those words as they remained with us throughout adulthood.

Richard had always had a kidney problem which was identified when he was 18 years old, I don’t think any of us really understood what this entailed at the time, and for me being 17 at the time, I guess I didn’t really think about it. Richard has put it to the back of his mind and continued to have his yearly check-ups.

However, fast forward to 2007, Richard’s Consultant informed him that his kidney function was deteriorating due to a previous infection, and he would eventually require a kidney transplant. I recall him telling our family this news and I said, at the time, that if my kidneys were ok, I would happily donate, I made that comment without thought or hesitation.

Two years later, it became necessary for Richard to receive a kidney transplant, and, without hesitation, I decided to start the process of having medical checks to donate my right kidney. I did this without telling Richard or my parents as I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, just in case, as you never know with these things, disappointment can always rear its ugly head and I didn’t want to have to put them through that. 

The medical checks, which included absolutely every check you can think of, took some 10 months and once I got the all clear, it was then that I told my parents, I recall telling my mum as she looked into my eyes and said “are you sure Pol” with a tear in her eye, she had tears of varying emotions, the love of her first born son, having a better quality of life and her daughter undergoing a major operation as a well person with risk to life. But I had made my mind up that it was something I wanted to do, and nothing would stop me.

When I told Richard, that I had taken all the tests and I am a match he Initially didn’t want me to do it, but I reminded him of the promise I made and together we decided this was the right thing to do. We had our family’s full support throughout all the process.  Our father was a little hesitant, but he soon came around.

Richard spent 6 months of dialysis and occasionally I would pop into the to see how the process worked, believe me it was an eye opener.

The transplant took place on 18th January 2011, it went well for both of us, and recovery, for me although was smooth, took longer, as it does for any Live Kidney Donor.  I got weekly health checks, then monthly and now I have checks on a yearly basis.  I returned to work 9 weeks later. It has now 12 years since the donation and my brother, and I are doing very well. My health is good, I drink lots of water and eat well, most of the time!

Unfortunately, we lost our beloved Mother two months before the transplant took place, which made it so much harder, but we were pleased she knew that we were going to do this, and we had her blessing.

Today, Richard is getting on with life, enjoying his family, and his grandchildren, not taking anything for granted. He keeps fit and trains with his son a few days a week. 

I am glad that I made the decision to donate and have no regrets, to give my brother more years with his family and to live and fulfil a healthy life without spending his days on dialysis, is a beautiful thing and for that I am truly thankful.

One day my daughter Claire mentioned that her ankles were swollen., she made an appointment with our GP. Unfortunately, from tests she was found to have protein into her urine.

She was admitted to Addenbrookes hospital for a biopsy, the biopsy showed she had a condition known as Nephrotic Syndrome which indicated only one of her kidneys were functioning properly, she was told there was a possibility of developing kidney failure.

In 2009 after the birth of her daughter, further tests showed that Claire’s kidneys had deteriorated rapidly and that she would need a transplant or dialysis. As a mother, I offered to donate a kidney to her.

Since the transplant Claire and I have done many challenges, we have reached the peak of Kilimanjaro, climbed Snowdonia, Ben Nevis, and Scafell Pike. We used these experiences to raise funds for Addenbrookes Charitable Trust.

You can live a healthy life with one kidney, Claire and I are proof of that!

Donating a kidney may be one of the most important decisions you make in your life, and it takes sacrifice and a lot of courage. Offering to become my brother’s living donor was a natural thing for me to do, in fact it was a no brainer! I loved him and I wanted him to live longer and regain his full health and as his sister it was important for me to give him that chance. 

Coming forward as a living donor was quite an emotional experience for me and I had a roller coaster of emotions. I remember sitting in the kidney clinic waiting room at Guy’s hospital on the 13th of January 2011 waiting to be seen by Miri, my clinical nurse specialist desperately hoping that I would be a match for my brother and I was! 

It was a great feeling knowing that I was going to change my brother’s life. But sadly after eight months of tests I was told that my health may be at risk if I donated so unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to help Tayo.

Through my disappointment, I founded Gift of Living Donation, I wanted to use my experience to raise awareness of the benefits of living donation so that more black people affected by chronic kidney disease can have access to a living donor kidney transplant.